This anniversary summary has been compiled in honour of the 31st anniversary of studies of Homo Bromus, commonly known as Bro-Man, a rare species of hominid, currently only indigenous to the Czech Republic. Only one individual has been observed in the wild in the past 31 years, and attempts to clone H. Bromus for captive display at the Toronto Zoo have been unsuccessful (apparently H. Bromus does not have enough dandruff for experiments to go forward) [A-P].

H. Bromus' behaviour in the wild is little studied, but several theories have been developed. H. Bromus appears to spend 62% of its time computing, which is significantly higher than is found in most other species of hominid. Theories concerning the evolutionary adaptability this provides are numerous, but include, for example, the concept of gamma-ray absorption as being somehow necessary for proper functioning of the brain. This has previously been observed only in deep-sea living eels [Q-S].

Extensive tool use has been observed. In Fig. 1, we see a specimen using a drinking vessel in a mysterious behaviour not yet understood. It is suspected to have ritual origin. Other tool use observed in the wild includes bicycling. It is worth noting however, that H. Bromus has not been observed to participate in this behaviour nearly to the extent of H. Sistus, the closely related species indigenous to Canada. [R]

The most accepted dietary theory puts emphasis on liquid barley, with various caseous compounds apparently providing some essential nutrients. In Fig. 2, at right, is an example of liquid barley consumption. Note the peculiar facial expression that often accompanies this behaviour. It is believed to be evolutionarily related to the common 'eyelid flash' in barbary macaques and other monkeys, which conveys aggression, often used in the context of food behaviours to warn other members of the species not to approach or attempt to take food.

In Fig. 3, we see H. Bromus engaged in an attempt at cross-species communication. H. Bromus is at left, and another primitive hominid, H. Tallus, whose primary characteristic is extreme height, is at right. This height characteristic is believed to be particularly maladaptive, and makes the animal particularly prone to head injury, especially in basement habitats. Therefore H. Tallus is expected to be extinct in a matter of centuries.[L] This particular attempt at communication apparently failed. In Fig. 4, however, is another attempt that apparently was successful. It has been postulated that H. Bromus is actually distantly related to the canine.

Much research needs yet to be done. For example, no one knows the incidence of hiccups in H. Bromus. It is widely accepted in folk history that H. Bromus does not hiccup, but one sketchy report has been filed of at least one incident of acute hiccupping. Also, studies need to be done of H. Bromus' habitat and why the reported sightings of H. Bromus in Canada have almost decreased to zero. Also, there has been recent speculation about an evolutionary link between H. Bromus and H. Unitus, the so called "Parental Unit". The nature of this relationship is likely to be a rich source of data.

References

[A-P] Allmagraphogramly, W., Cloning the Wild Brother. 1995

[Q-S] Quentin, Q., Sellmeamunki, S., Similarities between H. Bromus and A. Rostrata, the deep-sea eel. 1982.

[R] Rrrrrrrm, M., Extreme Cycling in Hominids. 2001.

[L] Lowly, W., Basements and their relation to lifespan. 1985.